First I saw black smoke coming out of the eruption while the small pieces of ash and bombs and blocks coming straight out. While the magma was pushing through the crust While the lava oozing out into the water which creates smoke and ash and then becomes rock, which creates a new mountain or volcano.
My name is Beyonce and I was visiting New Zealand when I noticed something unusual out in the water of Mission Bay. At first I saw black smoke coming out of the ground, and I thought to myself "I'm so scared." As I watched it coming out of the ground and the water, it was creating more smoke.
Luckily I knew what was happening, because I learnt it in year nine science that under the ground magma was pushing through the crust then it comes out through the water and it ends in a Vertical Eruption.
Hi Teremoana, here's your point score!
ReplyDeleteYou correctly used (for 3 points each):
ash
bombs and blocks
magma
crust
lava
vertical eruption
I liked how you used the word 'small' to describe the ash, as it's the smallest type of 'tephra' from a volcano, and the word 'oozing' also is very descriptive of how lava moves - you can have 2 points for each of those too!
You didn't lose any points for sentences not making sense or for forgetting any capital letters at the start of sentences - one thing you could improve is to do one round of proof-reading right at the end for what tense you're writing in - is it past, or present? If you say "first I saw" then you're beginning in the past tense and recounting what you saw, so you'd have to use the words "then" instead of "while" and "oozed" instead of "oozing."
So your total score was 22!
I really liked how you identified the process happening under the ground with the crust melting and magma rising through the crust. You could have slipped in a few extra scientific words by explaining that when this happens it's called a 'hotspot' and Auckland is on top of one. The crust melts because of a 'thermal plume' in the 'mantle' hitting the bottom of it and melting it.
Thanks for sharing your story :) I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks Teremoana
ReplyDeleteWas Rangitoto created from one eruption? It is really high. I have climbed it and it is very black and rocky.
Miss Ferguson